Words and music from friends 

As a writer of direct mail, ads, commercials, brochures, Web content and an occasional letter, I am always fascinated with words and word-play.  Business associates, friends and relatives know all that so they often send along non-sequiturs, rhymes, puns and other plays on words that tickle my fancy.  From time to time on TGIF Days, I will pass a few along.  Enjoy! 

The Way Children See Things 

---On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher at note from his mother.  The note read, “The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents.” 

---A woman was trying hard to the ketchup to come out of the bottle.  During her struggle the phone rang.  She asked her four-year old daughter to answer. “It’s the minister, Mommy,” the child said; then she added, “Mommy can’t come to the phone right now…she’s hitting the bottle.” 

---I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked!  As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my fie-year old shout from the back seat, “Mom! That lady isn’t wearing a seat belt.”   

---Thanks, niece Nancy Durham-Glynn, Manchester, ME 

Punnies 

. Two peanuts walk into a bar. One was asalted. 

. A jumper cable walks into a bar.  The bartender says, “I’ll serve you, but don’t start anything.” . Two antennas meet on the roof, fall in love, get married.  The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was great. 

. Two cannibals are eating a clown.  One says to the other: “Does this taste funny to you?”